Streisand Cites Red-Eye Fears In Lawsuit

Malignant songstress Barbra Streisand today filed suit in against NASA in an attempt to prevent the space agency from distributing colour images of the surface of Mars. Streisand alleges that such images may provide "detailed photographs ... identify routes to enter her property and provide details that can't be seen from a public vantage point". The filing alleges that any pictures of planet Earth that include her blufftop Malibu estate invade her privacy, violate the "anti-paparazzi" statute, seek to profit from her name, and threaten her security. So far, NASA's response has been limited to rolling their eyes, calling the singing star an "big fat bitch", and doing coarse imitations of Streisand in the NASA lunchroom.

Nonetheless, Streisand's lawsuit has garnered support in an unexpected quarter: the Supreme Court of the United States, where markedly pro-Martian Justice Sandra Day O'Connor has attempted to get the full court to support the suit through "a quick show of hands", rather than the usual testimony/evidence/debate rigamarole. O'Connor has also let it be known that she'd strongly support a felony trespass charge against NASA "if anyone cared to file one, hint hint, I'm looking at you, ACLU."

The new legal action marks the umpteenth time that Streisand has been a blight on the face of the planet.

Is There Life on Mars? And does it take the form of vastly overrated pop divas? This strange geologic feature photographed by the Mars Rover and dubbed "the Grotesque Snout of Mars", may explain Streisand's actions. Then again, she just might be a goofy stupid Hollywood freak.

Posted by Steve at January 7, 2004 06:16 PM