YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE

To whom it may concern,

I know you will be surprised to read from me, but please consider this letter as a request from a friend in dire need of assistance. First let me introduce myself: I am Mohammed O'Neill Wong-Sanchez, former gardener to the late Happy Fun Steve. I am presently residing near Berkeley, California, USA. I got your contact from a guy who sent me a wicked screensaver, and on behalf of Steve's pet spider decided to solicit for your assistance to transfer the sum of [US $75] Seventy Five United States Dollars inherited from Steve into your personal or company account. Before Steve was eaten by wolves, he received funds via PayPal to encourage him to blog more; naturally, the contrary S.O.B. then took a sabbatical from blogging for the whole summer. Anyhow, in his will, he specifically drew my attention to this sum of US$ 75, which he hid inside the barbecue in the backyard, in fact he said in his will:

"There's seventy five bucks in the barbecue for whoever gets to it first, in case of my absence on Earth in case I am eaten by wolves."

(I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of it). Unfortunately, the San Francisco Department of Parking and Traffic claims a right to this money, based on their allegation that the rear wheel of Steve's car was just barely adjacent to a red-painted curb for all of ten minutes --- honestly, those people are un-freakin-believable. Do they walk around with micrometers or what? Anyhow, they claim the money belongs to the people of San Francisco, and watch me carefully to find its whereabouts. In view of this, I am asking you to assist us to transfer this money out of California. For your efforts, I am prepared to offer you 10% of the total fund, or some really good coupons for Pak-N-Save. Modalities on how the transfer will be done will be conveyed to you once we estabish trust and confidence between ourselves. Also, furnish me with your Mastercard number for easy contact. Looking forward to your urgent reply and please treat as very urgent.

Best regards,

-- Mohammed O'Neill Wong-Sanchez