When Worlds Khalid

The ACLU and Amnesty International have lept to the defense of recently-captured Al Qaeda kingpin Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, charging that his civil rights have been violated and that he has been subject to cruel and unusual punishments such as hair-mussing and being forced to wear t-shirts with ridiculously large collars. ACLU representative Gavin Smeagol made the following statement:

John Ashcroft is turning America into a police state and stripping away our civil liberties at an alarming pace. He's a very bad man. All Americans should fear John Ashcroft, he's ever so evil. I bet if John Ashcroft had a dog, he'd kick it, then deny it basic human rights. He just strikes me as the kind of guy who'd do that.

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed: "Who the hell wore this shirt last, a freakin' gorilla?"

When it was pointed out that Mohammed is in Pakistani custody and that John Ashcroft almost certainly has had nothing to do with the case so far, the ACLU representative pretended not to understand English, then hissed that "we hates the Ashcroftses, steals our precious he did."

Posted by Steve at March 2, 2003 10:01 PM