January 27, 2003
Diplomatic Fiction
Two men are talking as they drive in car.
JULES: OK, so tell me again about the weapons of mass destruction.
VINCENT: OK, what you wanna know?
JULES: Weapons of mass destruction are legal there, right?
VINCENT: Yeah, they're legal, but they ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't just walk into a restaurant and spray the place with sarin. I mean, they want you to gas people of certain designated ethnicities and religions.
JULES: And those are Kurds and Shi'ites?
VINCENT: Yeah, it breaks down like this. OK, it's OK to lie about WMDs, it's OK to hide them, and, if you happen to be Saddam, it's OK to use them on your own people. It's not OK to get caught with them, but that doesn't matter 'cause, get a load of this, if you get inspected by the UN, you can jerk them around for months and they won't do anything.
JULES: Oh man, I'm going, that's all there is to it. I'm f___ing going.
VINCENT: I know, baby! You dig it the most! But you know what the funniest thing about the UN is?
JULES: What?
VINCENT: It's the little things. I mean, they got the same stuff over there that they got here, but it's just, just there it's a little different.
JULES: Example?
VINCENT: All right, well, you can walk into the UN and denounce Jews. And I don't mean Zionism, I'm talking about "Death to the Jews". And at the UN, the Security Council makes things less secure. And you know what they call an screaming match at the UN?
JULES: They don't call it a screaming match?
VINCENT: No man, they got diplomats, they wouldn't know what the f___ a screaming match is.
JULES: So what do they call it?
VINCENT: A candid, honest and forthright exchange of views.
JULES: A candid, honest and forthright exchange of views. Heh heh.
VINCENT: That's right.
JULES: What do they call pointless talking?
VINCENT: Pointless talking is pointless talking, but there they call it a peace process.
JULES: Peace process. What do they call saying what you mean and meaning what you say?
VINCENT: I dunno, it never really came up.
(With apologies to Quentin Tarantino)
Posted by Steve at January 27, 2003 07:02 PM
Now THAT was good....it's a ROYALE with sarin?
Damn funny, make mine a double!!
is that a Big Kahuna burger?
"I love you too, Hans. ALRIGHT YOU MOTHER______, LISTEN UP! THIS IS A WEAPONS INSPECTION!"
Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfu@king "if's"! All I wanna hear from your ass is "you ain't got no problem, Jules, I'm on the motherfu@ker. Go back in there, chill them cats out, & wait for the calvary, which should be coming directly!"
Marcellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules, I'm on the motherfu@ker. Go back in there, chill them cats out, and wait for Hans Blix, which should be coming directly.
Jules: You're sending the Blix?
Marcellus: Oh, feel better, motherfu@ker?
Jules: Sh*t, dude, that's all you had to say!
That was simply brilliant!
Outstanding! Steve, I think you just had what alcoholics refer to as a "moment of clarity".
Leper Messiah ... let's not pull our punches here. Jules said "Shit NEGRO, that's all you had to say."
Don't shit yourself trying to be PC - it's a quote from a movie, anyway.
Ok, if no one else is going to do it:
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengance, and furious anger. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengance upon thee!"
Later:
FABIENNE: Whose missile is this?
BUTCH: It's a weapon of mass destruction, baby.
FABIENNE: Whose weapon of mass destruction is this?
BUTCH: It's Saddam's.
FABIENNE: Who's Saddam?
BUTCH: Saddam's dead, baby. Saddam's dead.
Assistant Greenskeeper Carl:
"He was a Cinderella boy...
Former dictator, soon to be pushing up daisies.
Let's see... About 400 miles... Looks like about, looks like about a Tomahawk.
There it goes. It looks good! It's going to...It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"
a frase toda do jules (samuel l jackson), antes de matar o cara que roubou a mala não é:
"...And I will strike down upon thee with great vengance
and furious anger,
thoes who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And
you will know my
name is the Lord, when I lay my vengance upon thee."
inves de:
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengance, and furious anger. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengance upon thee!"
sei que parece besteira, mas...
valeu.
JULES: What does George Bush look like?
SADDAM: What?
JULES: What does George Bush look like?
SADDAM: Er, he's white, average-height, big ears
JULES: Does he look like a bitch?
SADDAM: Wha?
JULES: DOES GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
SADDAM: No.
JULES: So why you tryin' to fuck him?
