U.S. forces may find Al Qaida welcoming committee in Iraq, courtesy of Iran

(today's headline on Geostrategy-Direct)

Oh no! Boy, we better reconsider this whole Iraq thing if Al Qaida's involved! What if they bring their brutal Afghan winter with them, the one that practically paralyzed operations in Afghanistan? Good golly, they could turn the whole affair into a Vietnam-style quagmire! Certainly memories of their astonishingly effective performance against US forces in Afghanistan should give the Bush administration pause; their remarkable defensive action at Tora Bora casts a long shadow indeed. Who could forget those images of allied troops struggling with the treacherous footing in the caves, trying not to slip on the greasy remains of cunning Al Qaida fighters?

Imagine a US airborne group landing at night in the Iraqi desert, only to be surprised by a large force of fierce Al Qaida warriors. Well, not exactly surprised, unless the Al Qaida guys have learned how to eliminate their infrared signatures; certainly, the Tora Bora defenders learned how to dampen their IR signatures, mostly by being cold and dead. But let's say they're in a cave or something. Their best tactic is to force the lightly-armed airborne troops to use up their valuable ammunition; past encounters with Al Qaida has shown that if there's one thing they're good at, it's being shot.

Or what if they have armoured vehicles? Saddam's certainly not going to worry about a bunch of fanatically religious foreigners running around in his country with tanks and such. Even a distinctly secular guy like Saddam would welcome help from any source; he's already got lot of troops with experience at being thrashed by US forces, so the Al Qaida guys would be a good "fit".

And let's not forget the environmental impact of a large concentration of Al Qaida troops. First, they shoot their guns into the air a lot, so lots of bullets will fall on the ground, and then if US guys drank water that had touched the ground, or if they used the sand to make coffee or something, they could get lead poisoning! Then, after the US drops a daisycutter or two on such troop concentrations, the Al Qaida puree that's left would present a significant health hazard, and would probably be really damn stinky besides. And none of this considers what will happen if the Al Qaida guys shave all their body hair off before an attack, as the 9/11 hijackers did. Even if you're wearing army boots, isn't the thought of walking through a bunch of shaved-off hair just plain gross? And imagine the "killing field" of Bic "Good News" disposable razors... what if you walked into their Al Qaida camp in bare feet?

Yeah, now that Al Qaida (shudder!) might be in the picture, let's go back and reconsider all the diplomatic options we've got...