Al Qaeda Unveils Fall TV Lineup

A spokesman for al Qaeda say that terrorist doofus Osama bin Laden is alive and in good health, but has put on a few pounds since his last appearance. Evidently, the bloated bin Laden has refused to be videotaped in recent months, embarassed at having become so rotund when many of his followers have been blasted into tiny Halal McNuggets. Abdel Rahman al-Rashed also told Al Majalla magazine that al Qaeda has set up a media department to "address the Muslim people", and presumably chase lucrative advertising dollars to replace funds frozen by the international effort against terrorism.

Happy Fun Pundit has obtained exclusive images from the AQMG's first project, a new bin Laden video:

Osama rallies the troops for jihad in a new Al Qaeda videotape to be shown on al-Jazeera on Saturday morning.

al-Rashed didn't go into details about projects and personnel at the new Al Qaeda Media Group, but one can safely assume that they include The Guardian , British columnist Robert Fisk, and a lot of really stupid people. Industry analysts have criticized al Qaeda's move away from its core competence in terrorism and into the media marketplace, which has been steadily contracting in recent years. "Besides", said one analyst, "the media's controlled by Jews anyway."

Posted by Steve at October 15, 2002 07:35 PM